WTF Is This: Creamerie
Rarely do I watch a series and is left utterly stunned. Creamerie, however, did manage to leave me sitting in absolute and utter silence, marveling at how even something like this could ever get funded, and actually broadcast.
So, let's post a select few screenshots and talk about this masterpiece of a comedic shitshow.
Yo bro, no homo man, but nice ass bro
We begin our ride with some nice ass-shots of manly men hugging it out in the dressing room. Perfectly fine and wholesome.
Seriously, what's life if you can't even hug it out with your bro in the showers?
This, kids, is why you don't drop the soap
Doesn't take long for everything to go to absolute shit though, and soon pretty much everyone on the screen is violently vomiting up blood and dropping like flies.
Let's sing a song, shall we?
Now let's switch change gears and fast-forward to the present.
Turns out that something truly dreadful indeed has descended upon the world at large.
So...they just violently dry-humped, or did the actively get dressed afterwards? The future is female, literally.
As all men have died, womankind has been forced to man-up and get creative with their sexcapades. Like, "No homo gurl, but could you just dress up as a man and pretend-force yourself on me?"
Nice going there show, way to perpetuate the stereotype that women all fantasize about getting raped. Seriously, like, totally gross and sexist and all that.
I mean, sure, babies are a thing and all, but...like, where's the jizz gonna cum from? Now, not to diss on women getting regular health checkups and whatever – that stuff's as important as men getting their balls fondled on occasion you know – but holy hell, I wouldn't let that thing anywhere near my undercarriage.
At this point, one might think that we should've gotten at least a hint of "comedy" in this supposed comedy, but no, aside from the hysterically absurd nature of the story, there's been no fun to be had yet. And would you guess, there ain't going to be any going forwards either.
"Sweet dreams," eh?
Yeah, I'd be screaming out in terror when I awoke, too, if I'd dreamt about getting a physical by that previous chick.
Man Get, now to milk him for all he's got. At this point, the magnificent idiot trio gets their hands on some fresh man-meat. Though, first they'll need to patch the poor bastard up a bit. For whatever reason, none of them seem to be particularly shaken, beyond what you'd expect of someone finding themselves an injured man laying in the middle nowhere. One might think that you'd have a somewhat stronger reaction to seeing, not only an injured person, but the literal only man on the planet left alive; but nah, fuck that.
So, what do you do when there's no males around, but you want those kids? Well...
That post-nut depression hits hard, doesn't it? Yep, you guess it. It's milking time. Threaten the guy and get his jizz by force if need be. Then all you need to do is have it splurged in there. Easy.
The reasoning for this woman to so desperately want a kid is beyond me, seeing as I couldn't imagine anything worse than a child. Not to mention how incredibly obvious their little "crime" would be, once she's a couple of months into her hopeful pregnancy... Though, desperation tends to numb the senses, including logical thought.
The essential three-part step-by-step process to baby-makin'. Our absolutely fantastic female specimen then goes ahead and blows it completely, of course.
...What in the name of Andraste is that abomination? At this point, they're hunted down by the only and only: the local cum-hunter extraordinaire.